• Mail Mate
  • Posts
  • 62: A Simple Rule That Changed My Perspective On Life (Archive)

62: A Simple Rule That Changed My Perspective On Life (Archive)

A few months back, I found myself in the depths of a profound depression, a challenging period that cast a shadow over every aspect of my life—from studies to relationships. In the midst of these dark times, I stumbled upon something that transformed my outlook on life and became a guiding light during those difficult moments.

Chances are, you've faced your own battles with depression or challenging times, and I genuinely hope you find the strength to overcome them. However, if you ever find yourself in the midst of such struggles, let the Rule of Thirds be a beacon of wisdom.

Alexi Pappas, a Greek-American Olympic runner, filmmaker, actor, and writer, once shared a powerful piece of advice from her running coach—an Olympian. It's a rule she lives by:

“When you're chasing a big goal, you're supposed to feel good a third of the time, okay a third of the time, and crappy a third of the time, and if the ratio is roughly in that range, then you're doing fine.”

This seemingly simple advice carries profound implications. It has the potential to reshape your perspective on various aspects of life—be it relationships, work, studies, goals, or anything else.

1. Reduced Discouragement: Normalizing life's ups and downs helps us avoid feeling like failures during challenging times. Recognizing that "crappy" moments are an inherent part of the journey lessens the impact on our self-worth.

2. Increased Resilience: Acknowledging the inevitability of difficult phases mentally prepares us for challenges. This resilience allows us to bounce back swiftly and maintain focus on our goals.

3. Improved Perspective: Appreciating good moments becomes more profound, knowing they aren't guaranteed to last. This fosters gratitude and enables us to savor positive experiences more fully.

4. Better Goal Setting: The Rule of Thirds aids in setting realistic expectations for progress, preventing unwarranted disappointment and allowing celebration of smaller wins.

5. Enhanced Motivation: Understanding that setbacks are temporary fuels motivation. Persevering through tough times becomes purposeful, leading to better outcomes in the good and okay periods.

6. Stronger Self-Compassion: Reminding ourselves that it's normal to feel "crappy" at times promotes self-kindness. Letting go of self-blame enables focus on recovery and self-care.

7. Deeper Learning and Growth: The "crappy" third often holds the most significant learning and growth opportunities. Overcoming obstacles strengthens and builds confidence for future challenges.

8. Improved Relationships: Sharing struggles and accepting others' challenges can strengthen relationships. The rule fosters empathy and understanding, creating a more supportive community.

1. Track Your Feelings: Acknowledge your emotions daily. Note how often you feel "good," "okay," and "crappy." Use a journal, a mood tracker app, or practice mindful attention.

2. Manage Expectations: Set realistic expectations for your journey. Not every day will be euphoric, and that's okay. Even in the "meh" and "crappy" phases, progress is still happening.

3. Reframe Setbacks: View setbacks as temporary bumps, not roadblocks. By normalizing the "crappy" phase, see challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. Reframing empowers you to overcome obstacles with a positive perspective.

1. [Video] The Rule of Thirds | Alexi Pappas

2. [App] Day One

3. [Product] Muji Passport Memo

Ups and downs in life are very important to keep us going, because a straight line even in an ECG means we are not alive. ― Ratan Tata

If you've found this newsletter helpful, consider sharing it with someone you genuinely care about because growing together is always more fulfilling than growing alone.

While it's not obligatory, if possible, you could financially support me by leaving a small tip. Even a minimum contribution of $3 makes a meaningful impact. Your gesture will be highly appreciated.